Mormonism, a serio-comic poem
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- Publication date
- Mt. Pleasant, Mich., Northwestern tribune
- The Library of Congress
there are no numbered pages
- 2009-07-15 13:55:40
- Call number
- Canon 5D
- abbyy-to-hocr 1.1.37
- Possible copyright status
- The Library of Congress is unaware of any copyright restrictions for this item.
- Full catalog record
Subject: History is Marked by Poetry
The perverted prophet joe smith, inspired poetry recently discovered by University of Chicago.
Cecilia Dandridge, Kirtland, Ohio, circa 1848:
"Old Joe Smith had myriad wives, all but one broke out in hives, the doctor said it's a terrible clap, as old joe smith shook his syphilis-stained sack, "it was not me," he said with a snicker, as he hefted the crock of sweet corn liquor. "I prefer my girls quite young," as he coughed and he spat the smoke from his lungs, "For I am the prophet of the Mormonist restoration, teen girls for me, many call it molestation." "It is revelation wents my trousers get stiff-olous, it is then I'm required to give young girls syphilis!" "I bed girls married, I bed girls single, as they feel the next day a stinging- itchy tingle." "Their pantaloons green with a holy stain, and their twiddle doth ache with a swollen pain." "It is god's will I cometh and leave my seed," "For it fill my lust, my ego, and my greed." "I'm never refused the dipping of my cord, for the young girls fear the angel and the sword."
Mary Evelyn Waxman, Macomb, Illinois, circa 1847:
" Joseph Smith created a myth as to how the Bible should read, he took many wives, some single, some wed, some before they could bleed. Smith's motive was noted as Christ's church eroded, and profits driven from greed. Smith's ego was bloated, while Mormonites exploded, as he filled his lustful need. Good people took note of this heretic's gloat, and within his trousers he peed. Joe Smith's reign of the west became a spiritual test, some are not sure of the reason. Joe's end came quick, as the public got sick, and they shot him to death for treason. The lession at hand is a flame to be fanned, where one must not alter the Bible. For God dealt with Joe as the good people know, and struck him down for libel. Mormonites took note of Joe's bloodstained coat, and it caused them to grow even harder, As Joe's blood mixed with piss, a point they did miss, was his lack of becoming a martyr. In the kitchens of Hell, one can feel the foul smell, of Joe Smith's fat hang in the larder."
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